Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road For Philosophers #Philosophy #Humor #Classic

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? 
For Philosophers.


Plato:                For the greater good.

Karl Marx:            It was a historical inevitability.

Machiavelli:          So that its subjects will view it with admiration,
                      as a chicken which has the daring and courage to
                      boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom
                      among them has the strength to contend with such a
                      paragon of avian virtue?  In such a manner is the
                      princely chicken's dominion maintained.

Hippocrates:          Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its
                      pancreas.

Jacques Derrida:      Any number of contending discourses may be discovered
                      within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and
                      each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial
                      intent can never be discerned, because structuralism
                      is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!

Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Timothy Leary:        Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment
                      would let it take.

Douglas Adams:        Forty-two.

Nietzsche:            Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road
                      gazes also across you.

Oliver North:         National Security was at stake.

B.F. Skinner:         Because the external influences which had pervaded its
                      sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a
                      fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while
                      believing these actions to be of its own free will.

Carl Jung:            The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt
                      necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at
                      this historical juncture, and therefore
                      synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

Jean-Paul Sartre:     In order to act in good faith and be true to itself,
                      the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Ludwig Wittgenstein:  The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the
                      objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came
                      into being which caused the actualization of this
                      potential occurrence.

Albert Einstein:      Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed
                      the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Aristotle:            To actualize its potential.

Buddha:               If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-
                      nature.

Howard Cosell:        It may very well have been one of the most astonishing
                      events to grace the annals of history.  An historic,
                      unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt
                      such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to
                      homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.

Salvador Dali:        The Fish.

Darwin:               It was the logical next step after coming down from
                      the trees.

Emily Dickinson:      Because it could not stop for death.

Epicurus:             For fun.

Ralph Waldo Emerson:  It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

Johann von Goethe:    The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

Ernest Hemingway:     To die. In the rain.

Werner Heisenberg:    We are not sure which side of the road the chicken
                      was on, but it was moving very fast.

David Hume:           Out of custom and habit.

Jack Nicholson:      'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored)
                      reason.

Pyrrho the Skeptic:   What road?

Ronald Reagan:        I forget.

John Sununu:          The Air Force was only too happy to provide the
                      transportation, so quite understandably the chicken
                      availed himself of the opportunity.

The Sphinx:           You tell me.

Mr. T:                If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!

Henry David Thoreau:  To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow
                      out of life.

Mark Twain:           The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

Molly Yard:           It was a hen!

Zeno of Elea:         To prove it could never reach the other side.

Chaucer:              So priketh hem nature in hir corages.

Wordsworth:           To wander lonely as a cloud.

The Godfather:        I didn't want its mother to see it like that.

Keats:                Philosophy will clip a chicken's wings.

Blake:                To see heaven in a wild fowl.

Othello:              Jealousy.

Dr Johnson:           Sir, had you known the Chicken for as long as I have,
                      you would not so readily enquire, but feel rather the
                      Need to resist such a public Display of your own
                      lamentable and incorrigible Ignorance.

Mrs Thatcher:         This chicken's not for turning.

Supreme Soviet:       There has never been a chicken in this photograph.

Oscar Wilde:          Why, indeed? One's social engagements whilst in
                      town ought never expose one to such barbarous
                      inconvenience - although, perhaps, if one must cross a
                      road, one may do far worse than to cross it as the
                      chicken in question.

Kafka:                Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade
                      insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen.

Swift:                It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome,
                      filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume
                      to question the actions of one in all respects his
                      superior.

Macbeth:              To have turned back were as tedious as to go o'er.

Whitehead:            Clearly, having fallen victim to the fallacy of
                      misplaced concreteness.

Freud:                An die andere Seite zu kommen. (Much laughter)

Hamlet:               That is not the question.

Donne:                It crosseth for thee.

Pope:                 It was mimicking my Lord Hervey.

Constable:            To get a better view.

-
This is a classic.

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road For Philosophers is constantly changing and being 
added to in many places on the www.

Can you think of any reasons why the chicken crossed the road? 
I'd love you to share .

Gaye
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75 Comments on “Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road For Philosophers #Philosophy #Humor #Classic”

  1. Chicken: What is a “road”?

  2. Obed says:

    Because the chicken was curious why the other chicken crossed the road.

  3. Obed says:

    Obama- To bring about change

  4. Look at my previous post “.. to catch her and ..”

    This system is frequently used in modern propaganda, control and manipulation techniques to catch major (mostly) young pupulation and put their focus away from their point of power.

  5. TaxCoach says:

    Too many are watching, chicken wants another great rating. SEO, baby!

  6. detart says:

    there is only one answer “42”

    we might have to search a bit longer for the “one” question…

  7. mithuhassan says:

    Owner of the Chicken running in behind to catch; as there have a home party whenever need to make roast !!

  8. Kim Clune says:

    I’m with Nicholson.

  9. Don Dobbie says:

    Awesome post!! Keep them coming!!

  10. I think that I would rather opt for Albert Einstein’s quote “Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference” as this quote seems obviously realistic to me. How can we know the exact reality from a picture that could have been manipulated, changed, processed, etc. ?

  11. The chicken did not know that it is a road:)

  12. Chicken: What’s a road?

    Our species loves to apply our constructs to other species. It is one of our great limiting habits in truly understanding what is possible in another beings experience.

    Oh wait, this was a light Sunday mission wasn’t it? In that case, I think Dali is closest.

  13. anyanon says:

    HAHA, these are very funny answers. I especially love Mr T’s answer.

  14. Gaye that is funny.. but the real reason why the chicken crossed the road is to get to the other side of the road 🙂

  15. Leo says:

    Great post for Sunday afternoon, I really enjoyed. And I like chicken

  16. jphaldar says:

    I’m with Thomas de Torquemada.

  17. Rolf Vohs says:

    to land as my dinner.

  18. layanglicana says:

    It is a truth universally recognised that a chicken crossing the road must be in want of a mate (to paraphrase Jane Austen – thanks Liz!)

  19. I like things simple … and Aristotle but also NIetshe is … not bad … nice this reflection 🙂

  20. kosta montoya says:

    Constable: To get a better view.

  21. Descartes: The chicken crosses, therefore it is.

  22. Tony Patti says:

    Colonel Sanders: It couldn’t decide between ‘original’ or ‘Extra-Crispy’.

  23. Bill Clinton- It all depends on what your definition of a chicken is.

    FYi both Douglas Adams and Karl Marx are buried with a few 100 feet of each other.

  24. topbullet1 says:

    I too agree with Doug Adams!

  25. brulesshore says:

    Ol Frederich Nietzsche had it right 😉

  26. She is running to get attention of the Cock – to catch her and …

  27. Jeroen says:

    I’m with Douglas Adams too… And Ken Wilber would probably answer “because of everything”

  28. Because the cat got killed

  29. Wonderful! I’m pretty sure Douglas Adams had the answer. 😉

  30. primaqea says:

    to leave his marriage proposal 🙂

  31. Grace Alexander says:

    John Donne, LOL!

  32. I’ll go with Blake … To see heaven in a wild fowl.

  33. txwikinger says:

    Sigmund Freud: Because it had an Oedipus complex.

  34. it seemed like the right thing to do.

  35. Reblogged this on michellegilstrap and commented:
    As we celebrate the fun of Leap Year, let’s have fun with Why the Chicken crossed the road from another friend from the Empire Ave. You will enjoy this. Come up with your own reasons for comments.

  36. I love this and I will reshare with my readers. Too much fun. I would be with Plato, to find another Diner that had better food.Modern Society.

  37. smsharif says:

    Interesting compilation

  38. HB says:

    haha. love it.

  39. holidayhires says:

    Molly Yard and It was a hen. That sums it up for me 🙂

  40. Mike Branigan says:

    I would prefer to think like Godot: wait here, the chicken will be back

  41. Enrique Sabal says:

    Saw no cars coming….

  42. I was on a bus on a trip in the country once and the bus had to stop because a line of chickens were crossing the road. I looked around and discovered that the side of the road they were crossing to had a rooster up in a tree. I kid you not. Make of it as you will, but I think the chicken crossed the road for a rooster in a tree.

  43. I am with Plato…for greater food…:-)

  44. swishthings says:

    were there any witnesses to the crossing?

  45. Being a word of mouth expert, I must point out the obvious of “Hen party” on the other side.

    LOL. Gaye you’re hilarious. Haven’t laughed so hard in weeks.

  46. JoeJoeKeys says:

    HAHA! These are great answers!

  47. paulomealha says:

    I think they crossed the road only to realize that the other side was equal, and then returned to where they were

  48. Amanda Fox says:

    I’m with Torquemada. The fear of being an entree will get the answer out of that chicken! It will spill it’s secrets or go from rooster to hen feebly defending them!

  49. Vera says:

    Enjoyed reading this : ) thank you, Gaye!

  50. lsmn364 says:

    The only reason why Chicken cross the road is because of the better food on the other side! They think like people sometimes 🙂

  51. I’m with Timothy Leary or maybe Doug Adams…

  52. Glen Michael says:

    To keep from being dinner or was being chased by an aardvark!!!!!

  53. Because someone bet him a chicken sandwich that he could not cross the road??? LOL

  54. Gregory Jackson says:

    Always amused with Jack Nichoson 🙂

  55. Heribert says:

    I am with Mr. K!!

  56. xutspa says:

    I am with Mrs T!!!!

  57. TareqG says:

    Some say the chicken is more curious than it leads on to be & likes to explore new ground. Others say, they just like running away from everything. 🙂

  58. The chicken, sensing the true existential nature of crossing, embraced its destiny and crossed the Rubicon decisively.

  59. Liz Pullen says:

    I could see you adding Jane Austin, Agatha Christie, Maya Angelou or Judith Butler to this fine list! ; )

    • Gaye Crispin says:

      Yes Liz, it’s true. All of them, and as soon as you said that I went straight to Alice Walker, Simone De Beauvior, Anais Nin, and Margaret Thatcher! Don’t ask me how Maggie got it in!

  60. Anne Thomas says:

    To actualize its potential, or 42, I can’t decide 🙂

  61. I’m with Douglas Adams… シ


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