A ‘Happy Mother’s Day’ Message To My Childfree Female Friends

Mother’s Day is a very special day to honour the many women in our lives who have chosen a  childfree life. There is something quite wonderful I’ve noticed about the majority of my childfree female friends that I’d love to share with you.

Some of my childfree female friends have mentioned they feel strange, and even at a bit of a loss on Mother’s Day.  Most women I know, including childfree women, exhibit strong maternal and nesting instincts. And, nobody can argue that women’s bodies are designed to give birth. Yet, try as they might, many of my childfree female friends are not childfree!

Instead, they’ve given birth to unique and beautiful babies, devoting years to loving, guiding, nurturing and protecting their babies –  babies that have proven to be  just as much a full-time job as any flesh-and-blood baby ever could be.

Their babies are just not the kind of babies we usually imagine a woman giving birth to.

The babies I am talking about that many of my childfree female friends have given birth to are causes, movements, social works, careers, caring professions, writing, craft, art, painting, poetry, music, singing, and even record-breaking achievements.

Sometimes these babies are an unusual or challenging business or project, devised and designed to benefit and inspire women everywhere  to greater freedom, independence and security. And they do!

These babies are often extremely demanding – even after birth and years of blood, sweat, tears, and dedication. And they can continue to demand full-time attention and commitment decades later from their mothers.

I’ve noticed the number is growing of women whose babies are inspiring and encouraging women to step out of their comfort zone and embrace more of what life has to offer.  This is very exciting and encouraging because of what it means for women everywhere.

So thank you to all the childfree women, past and present,  who by walking their own path have inspired the rest of us to aim higher.

Thank you and I wish a Happy Mother’s Day to all,

Gaye

Do you know any childfree women who have given birth to a dream?

If so please feel free to share these flowers and this message with her.

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31 Comments on “A ‘Happy Mother’s Day’ Message To My Childfree Female Friends”

  1. Very true. Martha Berry who “birthed” Berry College in Rome, Georgia is a good case in point. She remained single her whole life, but left a legacy behind for millions of children. Including me.

  2. Stephanie Surprenant says:

    Thank you so much for this article! I have always been childfree (from birth, my mother tells me), and over the decades I have found that I am treated as “less than” a woman with children. People are very quick to point out that my volunteerism, raising funds for cancer research, rescuing abandoned and horrifically abused animals, donating my time, energy, money and even blood to help out however I can, whenever I can, and my day job helping to keep my country safe and protected means NOTHING because I don’t have a human child. I very much needed to hear that someone believes I am not “less than”. Hopefully I will hear it again and it will help move me to the point where society believes it too.

  3. I love your approach to Mother’s Day. I went a different way and recommended we have a non-Mother’s Day on the Saturday prior, this to celebrate being childfree as well as to allow a day for women who desperately want children but can’t have them. (I hope you don’t mind a link – if you do, please delete: http://sylviadlucas.com/2012/05/12/non-mothers-day/ )

  4. Jeroen says:

    Nice way to take a broader perspective on Mother’s day Gaye!

  5. As someone who is child-free by fate rather than design, I always rather dread Mothering Sunday (as I still manage to call it in England) and Mothers’ Day as it is becoming universally known. This is not helped by the fact that ours is always on the 4th Sunday of Lent (so March/April) whereas Hallmark decrees that it should be in May so I have to suffer it twice over.

    I very nearly burst into tears at this piece, Gaye. (But not quite of course – I come from the stock that invented the stiff upper lip, after all). Yes, I have tried to find an outlet for my mothering instincts in other forms of nurturing and yes, I have to a large extent been successful in this. I have had more time and money to spare than my child-bearing sisters. There are compensations. And I have women friends of my own age whose children seem to bring them nothing but worry and pain. And yet, if I could choose whether or not to have had flesh and blood children, I know what choice I would have made.

    • Gaye Crispin says:

      Hi Laura,

      Thank you for sharing so openly. I’m so glad you’re in a position to express your strong nurturing and mothering instinct, and I know we all benefit from being connected with you Laura.

      Love and hugs to you, and wishing you a wonderful day on Mother’s Day

      xox

      Gaye

  6. saulman says:

    Thank you, Gaye. You reminded me to call my mother and let her know how much she’s appreciated. Bless you, too – for all you do for your boys (and the rest of us) :-)

    • Gaye Crispin says:

      Hi Saul,

      That’s fabulous and I bet your mother will be happy. I hope it’s a wonderful Mother’s Day her.

      Thank you too Saul for your very kind words,

      Gaye

  7. Thinking about all the ladies this weekend. Thanks for the perspective Gaye… シ

  8. Just RTed SweetHeart! Great post, as always! Happy Mother’s Day! Love You! Lori

    • Gaye Crispin says:

      Hi Lori,

      Thank you and wishing much love for you.
      With the endless flow of love and encouragement you share, you deserve a wonderful Mother’s Day.

      Happy Mother’s Day to you Lori, xox

      Gaye

  9. I dedicate this wonderful write-up on this beautiful day to one woman. My sister. After 10 years of childfree marriage she had a son and with an indifferent family she’s gone on to make that boy a darling in 5years. Our parents and I after my father passed have been pillars of support but her determination and urge to make a life for that boy amidst so much opposition in an orthodox society at her in-laws makes her in my eyes the best mother. Not to mention she’s technically doing this a second time around as from her 10th year in life she’s been my mother too. Singing for her brother to sleep, bathing him feeding him telling him stories she’s done it all. Love my sister and the mother in her. Thanks Gaye.

    • Gaye Crispin says:

      Hi Srivatsan,

      Thank you for sharing this story friend.

      How wonderful your sister is, and how fortunate this boy is to have her as his mother.
      You must love her dearly.

      I wish her a very Happy Mother’s Day.

      Thank you again for sharing this story Srivatsan,

      Gaye

  10. Gaye, I like your point. I suppose, a woman can be devoted to many things in her life and it is not the issue to compare giving birth or raising an idea or a project with giving birth to your own child. But there is also a very special kind of love you can feel to your children and it is different
    if your child was born in love. My English is not good enough to explain it, in a few words I want to tell that it is a different feeling.
    Thanks so much for your missions – I am really enjoying to do them because they are so different from many others…

    • Gaye Crispin says:

      Hi Aviva,

      Thank you for sharing and expressing.

      Yes, I agree, it certainly is a wonderful thing for a couple if the there is love when a child comes along. And how wonderful for a child to be born into such circumstances where the parents are in love. What you are saying about it being a special kind of love, or special feeling, is surely true. And your english is very good I think.

      I wish you a wonderful day on Mother’s Day Aviva :)

      Gaye

  11. mandyf says:

    This is lovely gaye!

  12. ridexc says:

    A refreshing point of view, Gaye, and as a childfree-by-choice woman, I thank you. I thought I should point out that many of us do plenty of nurturing of other species, btw — for me, it’s horses, and I have brought several into the world whom I am every bit as proud of, as I would be if I had birthed them myself. I’ve raised them along with their equine mothers, trained them to be reliable and kind riding horses, and while I don’t get sappy or call them my “furbabies” or anything, they are undeniably my family.

    • Gaye Crispin says:

      Hi Karen,

      Thank you, I really appreciate your inclusion of your nurturing of (and love of) horses.
      You’ve caused me to think of women like Joy Adamson and her work in Africa with Elsa the lion cub – Born Free. And then there was Dian Fossey in Rwanda from Gorillas in the Mist fame. There is a very real connection or love that is reciprocated from certain other living creatures when we nurture them… and women naturally nurture.

      I hope you have a wonderful Mother’s Day Karen,

      Gaye

  13. aw, this is so sweet.

  14. Interesting blog and I understand how and why you have made the point you did.
    while I have never given birth to one I feel strong that there is no stronger bound no stronger love than Mother and child.

    I do not see how any business or pet project can come close to that.

    • Gaye Crispin says:

      I agree Dan that the bond between Mother and Child is pretty unbeatable in its ideal state.

      Then again I have known many good women who have had children, yet seem to have lacked nearly all maternal instinct, and the bond between mother and child has been quite fragile or cold.

      Just to say that I see degrees in all these things. I also think I have seen powerfully strong love bonds between fathers and sons… though that kind of bond is expressed differently.

      And dare I say I even think I have seen incredibly strong bonds between siblings and friends that would put some of the mothering I have seen to shame. It’s an interesting topic.

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

      Gaye

  15. I have known women who have birthed causes and programs after their own children have flown from the nest.Care and love come in many forms, and we must always be ready to give back and share with one another our skills. We all have much to give and share to one another.

  16. Tom Laing says:

    Hear, hear. Gaye.


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